Geometry and Reality

I’d like to start with a thought I had while doing some book research:

In geometry terms a line is a theoretical, it has no ends. A line segment is the thing with two end points. For our purposes we can have as many line segments as we need, in any direction we need, as long as the overall line from us to our goal is followed.  When we stray from that (mental) line we are in trouble.

When we actually try something we want to do the result can be pretty ugly. We will make mistakes. We will have missteps…

But, if we learn from our mistakes and missteps we can progress toward the thing we really desire, even though the line segments in reality don’t line up as perfectly straight and true as the mental/theoretical line we wanted.

How this has applied in my life:

As of this Saturday (20 May 2017) the novel Johnson Farm is finally on sale. It’s been a long time in coming. It would have been quicker to arrive if I could have held closer to that mental/theoretical line between where I was and me being an author. It would have been a much longer process if I had continued to listen to those who told me I couldn’t do it, or pushed me in other directions.

I will admit that my first attempt at writing a novel wasn’t very good. It was a first attempt; I was going through a lot at the time; and I was about twelve… Just because I didn’t knock it out of the park on the first one doesn’t mean I should have given up!

That first attempt still exists as a file on my computer. Elements of that story also exist here and there in other stories I’ve written (and some I’m writing right now…). I keep that story around because it helps me see where I was when I started down the path to being an author and novelist. It helps me measure my progress.

What it actually means:

Sometimes the real life line isn’t as straight as the mental/theoretical one. But those shifts aren’t necessarily mistakes, unless you give up. That’s an important distinction. The time I said “that person is right, I can’t succeed as an author, I should be a computer programmer” was a mistake. It was me shifting from the true line. The times I set a story down to get a little distance and perspective before I picked it up again were not.

Ultimately it is that mental line from where you are to where you’re going that matters. If you have to side step to get around (or over, or under) an obstacle that’s OK. If you’re beating your head against a cement wall, you’re not getting anywhere. If you shift slightly to walk through a doorway you’re making progress.

The sidesteps and diversions that come from giving up on a goal are the ones that can kill you. The ones that you can explain in terms of how they get you closer to your goal (including making it possible to get to your goal…) are the ones that save you.

The biggest threat to your success is the same thing as your biggest asset in becoming successful. It’s  you, dear reader, ultimately it all comes down to you, and your active choice to do the things that will get you where you want to go;  even when it doesn’t look to others like that’s what’s happening.

That’s it for this one dear reader, see you next post.

Things come…

This week I’ve been reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich as part of research for a project I’m starting. One of the things that I keep seeing really resonates with me right now, things come to you when you are ready.

Between me getting Johnson Farm ready to go (It’s officially on the market in May and nothing is going to stop it this time!) and my wife finishing her dissertation we’ve cleared a couple of major projects. It is a time to look back at what we have done and what is coming up next.

We have achieved things. We have had really positive things happen that seem like they are just being handed to us. But, in reality, the things that we are “just getting handed” today result from a series of steps we have taken.

This year I am able to sign my emails with the title Editor in Chief. This week my wife was invited to speak at a conference. Neither of these things would have happened if we hadn’t put in the work and started ourselves on the path a long time ago.

The amazing thing about the world we live in is that we can achieve more than we think we can. We can definitely achieve more than our critics tell us we can.

We are dear reader. We exist and exist for a purpose. We have potential dear reader. We can achieve more than we think. But if we are going to do that we need to put in the effort.

We are agents unto ourselves able to choose and act. We are members of a family, a community, a world. We need not be alone. We are stronger with others. But, we have to do our part in achieving what we want.

If you have a desire, even if it’s still just a dream, strive for it; prepare yourself for it; make yourself worthy of it; and if it is a right thing, a true thing in the eye of God and the Universe, it will happen.

And if not? Well… It is better to stand and act, to make the effort and learn and become, than it is to fail because you never tried.

That’s it for this one dear reader. See you next week.

You should at least try…

At some point today a Kickstarter I set up for a Forever Mountain Publishing novel (worse, one of my own novels…) is going to close without funding. Yes, it is a temporary defeat. But, you can’t let the temporary defeats get in the way (Napoleon Hill said that back in the 1930’s…). In fact, as an author and as editor in chief of Forever Mountain Publishing, I have gained a lot through this process…

Since the Kickstarter got started I managed to get the website for FMP up and running; I found and started my plan to rework the social media presence for my company; my wife (who is graduating with her doctorate in Education this semester) discovered a part of the company that she could participate in; and I got to give a talented young artist her first shot at a book cover. A variety of other positives have come out of the process as well.

But, the Kickstarter didn’t go…

No, it didn’t, but the Kickstarter was an avenue, not the only avenue. In truth my wife and I had a backup plan in place a week or so ago. We could have pulled the Kickstarter last week and still had a way to publish the book (I am starting a publishing company after all…). I let the Kickstarter run because it gave more people a chance to feel like they were participating in the launch. It was an avenue to show support that resonated with some people, and it would have felt more like a defeat to admit defeat and pull the campaign than to ride it to the end.

Even though the campaign didn’t completely go the way I hoped, I gained ground. Positive things happened that outweigh the negatives.

Yes dear reader, sometimes we fail. Sometimes we are defeated. But, if we never try we never succeed. (For those who want to pull out “Do or do not, there is no try”, or any other variation I will be dealing with Yoda and Mr. Miyagi at another time…)

The saddest defeat is self-inflicted. The saddest defeat is caused because you never tried.

There are other elements, dear reader, knowledge, planning, resources and other factors all have their place, but you never succeed if you never try.

That’s it for this one,

See you next week…

Keep it in front of you…

Let’s face it, we’re busy…

All of us have things to do. And if we’re going to be successful we have a lot of things to do. So, how do you keep it all straight? How do you get it all done?

Between thinking of today’s topic and actually writing about it I spent some serious time trying to remember what the heck I was going to write about.  The problem was that between getting the idea and actually writing I had to get to my office from dropping my wife off at work, I had to get through my morning office start up routine, I had a great idea for my blog over at Forever Mountain Publishing, and of course I hadn’t been in the right spot to make any notes in the first place…

Worse, I actually got the idea because I checked my progress on another project and found I hadn’t made any progress in the last two weeks, nothing. In fairness I am in the middle of a book launch; and figuring out my company’s social media plan; and researching for a non-fiction book; and writing for another fiction project; and helping my wife with her doctoral dissertation. But, the reality is I just plain forgot!

Having more than one goal and wearing more than one hat are facts of modern life. Conflicting priorities are a reality in today’s world (actually they’ve pretty much always been realities. The old timey ones are just easier to forget…). This means you have to make choices. You have to keep things organized. And, you have to keep the things you’re going to do in front of you.

Choosing and tracking

First on the list is choosing. This isn’t necessarily easy. Sometimes we have to choose between two things that we want, or want to happen. We’ve talked about this before and will probably do so again. The important part, for now, is that sometimes you have to make choices in what you do. That may mean saying no to an opportunity because you have one that you feel is better or more important. It can also mean asking if you can postpone an opportunity.

This isn’t always comfortable, but it’s a key to getting it all done; don’t overload yourself, or others, just because someone asks you to… That’s a sure road to failure.

Next is keeping track of it all. There is a variety of organization tools and plans out there (and by “a variety” I mean enough to spend a lifetime just trying to find the right system…). There are a lot of systems because different people work differently and have different needs. The system I use as a writer/artist/publisher is different from the one my father in law uses as a contractor because our projects have different demands. I use a different system from my friend down the block because I don’t have to cope with ten kids…

It’s probably a good idea to accept the fact that there is no “one system of organization” here in earthly life (if you’re going to drag God into this that’s not fair (I’m a believer, but God’s organization system is a few orders of magnitude different from ours…)). This means that you have to put some time, thought and research into what system works for you. That means you have to spend a little time figuring out who you are and what you do.

Actually doing!

Once you have made your choices about what you’re going to do, or not do, and found an organization system you have to keep it in front of you.

I’ve known a lot of people that tell me organization systems don’t work for them. Sometimes that is because they just chose the wrong system for them. More often their problems result from setting up an organization system and not using it. Sorry guys an organization system isn’t a “set it and forget it” kind of deal.

There is one constant that I see in organization; the things that you think about, the ones you actually have on your mind and take steps toward, are the ones you make progress on. The things you forget about are the ones that will probably never get done.

What you need to do to keep things in front of you depends on who you are and what you do (again there is no “one plan” in earthly life). If I tell you to put a note on the refrigerator that works great, if you go to the ‘fridge often. If you don’t, that won’t work. If I tell you to keep it in your phone, that might work for you. But what about people like me who don’t tend to use ‘smart’ phones…

What you need to do can depend on the project too. For me an art/sculpture/jewelry project needs to be out, and somewhat set up to work on, in a place that I will be. For writing (which I do pretty inherently) I just need to make sure I have a notebook somewhere around me (not necessarily in sight at all times but where I can find it when I want it). For other things a note on my Google calendar works just fine (if you look at the calendar!).

Again this is one of those where you have to learn about yourself and find what works for you. But, I can promise you dear reader, when you keep the important things in front of you the important things will be the ones that you think about and the ones that get done.

Until next time…

Keep those goals in sight!

The law of sacrifice

Today we are talking about one of the great concepts of the universe! In finance and economics we would call it an ‘opportunity cost’. The world of engineering it is known as a ‘trade off’. In the world of anime our subject has been referred to as the ‘law of equivalent exchange’. Those of a more religious bend would know it as the law of sacrifice.

No matter who, or what, you are if you want something you have to give something up to get it. If you want to by lunch at a restaurant the restaurant’s owner and managers expect you to pay for it. If you want a new pair of shoes the shoe people probably want money too. Fortunately you have ways to obtain money (but, you pay a cost to get the money too…).

Not every cost is a monetary cost. If you want to sleep in an extra half hour tomorrow it’s unlikely anyone is going to charge you money to do that. However, you give up whatever else you could do with that half hour, including making money, reading a book, or something a bit more intimate.

If you want a good grade in a hard class you ‘pay’ for it by studying (or sometimes by cheating, which has its own costs…).

If you want to write a book? Well, that costs you time, effort, money and a variety of other costs…

The point is, no matter what you choose to obtain, when you choose to obtain something you’re also choosing to give something up.

The secret to the law of sacrifice is: if you choose to be aware, then you have influence over the universe. Whether you see the controlling influence in the universe as God, the laws of physics, or a giant plate of spaghetti, you have the ability to make choices. At least to an extent you can choose the results you want to strive for and what you are willing to sacrifice for them.

No, you don’t always get what you want. No, you can’t choose the consequences of your actions (after you’ve acted at least), but you can choose what you will give up and what you will put your effort into obtaining. You dear reader can influence the world around you. You dear reader can influence the universe itself.

Our power is not unlimited. There are principles and laws we must follow (and consequences for trying to break them). But we also have agency. We can choose what we will do and what we will give up. And that dear reader is part of what makes us free.

That’s it for today dear reader. Until next time…

The choice is yours!

All things change (and I’m ok with that)

A year ago I had been out of the hospital for two months; I was newly diagnosed as diabetic; and I had just made some decisions… I was dropping the pretense of looking for some other job and embracing the fact that I am by nature a writer. I decided I really needed to get going on publishing. I also decided to get serious about attempting a NANOWRIMO project; writing an entire 50,000+ word novel in one month. It was a turbulent, scary time and I didn’t know what was to come.

Today, this year, I stopped at my local mega-mart to pick up a prescription… I actually know the pharmacist personally at this point. I have finished that NANOWRIMO project. I have ‘beat’ diabetes in that I no longer need insulin. I am struggling to adjust to the fact that I’m 30lbs lighter than when I went to the doctor six months ago (a full 100lbs) below my high point. And, I have a book out.

It really is a different year from last year.

I took a look around the mega-mart because they’re doing one of those “open while we’re remodeling” numbers and I wanted to see what’s new. I realized things are actually kind of new for me too. People are starting to accept that I’m actually self-employed (having books on Amazon helps). My wife is proposing her doctoral dissertation this week (I once thought I would be the one to have a doctorate). This year my ‘big question’ for NANOWRIMO is: can I actually write a 50,000+ word sequel in one month?

Things have changed a lot. Not all of the changes have been what I wanted or planned, but things are actually coming out for the better. The secret is I have chosen, and do choose, to do what I believe is right; to the best of my ability. That includes accepting the fact that I don’t do everything right; learning to do better; and actually doing (even when it isn’t easy). The other secret is the desire to be more than you are; to learn what you are and what you have the potential to be; and then honestly, actively striving to become.

Nietzsche wrote that if God didn’t exist it would have been necessary to invent him. I believe that he does exist (we can save the God is a she debate for another day). I believe he does understand us and has a plan for us. I also believe that coming to know who and what we are, and what we can do (and need to do), is a personal journey. It is not something anyone can, or should, compel anyone else to do. It doesn’t work that way.

So, yeah, my wife is getting the PHD I thought I would be getting; the bakery is inexplicably where the meat counter used to be; and I’m about to start the sequel to a book that wasn’t supposed to have a sequel. I’m ok with that. I am more than I was. I am growing and becoming what I can be.

With all the noise and strife in our world dear reader, with all the change and ‘stuff’ thrown at us every day, don’t forget the real human rights and the real opportunities to make good choices and become more than what we are.

Until next time…

Um, where did they put the magazine rack? …and my notebook? …and…

The road goes on…

I’m a writer with a graduate degree in Psychology. It’s pretty safe to say I spend a fair amount of time watching people. One of the things I’ve been watching lately is people freezing up and stopping. They stop because it doesn’t seem like they’re getting where they want to go. Sometimes they really aren’t. Sometimes they are getting where they want to go, but don’t realize it. Sometimes they didn’t really know where they wanted to go in the first place.

The thing is we humans are a bit like sharks. If we stop moving we die. In our case it’s not a literal physical ‘if you stop moving you die’; we humans need a purpose and if we lose our sense of purpose we wander. And that’s the part that gets us….

We need to know what we want. We need to know what our purpose is.

It’s a simple truth, if you don’t know where you’re trying to go you probably won’t get there.

If we’re going to keep moving and live, it would really be helpful to know where we’re going. It would also be helpful if we knew why we’re going there and doing what we’re doing.

If you’ve started your trip already, and you’re not sure about where you’re going (or why), it might be a good idea to stop and figure things out before you go on.

Remember if you don’t know where you’re going it’s really hard to get there. So, stopping to figure things out probably isn’t hurting much! The thing to remember is that you are stopping purposefully. You are actually still moving toward your goals because you’re figuring out what our goals are. We are not just wandering.

We need to move toward it.

Just having a purpose, just having a goal, won’t really get you anywhere. Once you know where you’re trying to go, the next step is to figure out how to get there.

When you start, you probably won’t entirely know the road. You may have to change things on the way. Even though you might not know all the challenges, you’ll be more prepared, more able to overcome the challenges, if you spend some time thinking and preparing before you get to them.

The straight and narrow path may not look straight…

The path that leads where we want to go might not look like the right path. That’s because our perception isn’t perfect. Sometimes we encounter obstacles we hadn’t planned on. Sometimes we lose track of our actual desire/purpose. We need to be able to keep one eye on the immediate obstacle while we keep the other eye on the overall goal. That way, we can figure out not just how to overcome the problems of right now, but how to get to where we really want to be.

That’s the take home for today dear reader… Figure out where you’re trying to go, and then keep moving. Keep your eye on what you’re trying to do, and not just the immediate problem.

I know that there are more questions. How do we actually do these things? How do we keep an eye on the goal and one on the road? How do we get where we’re going?

I will help where I can dear reader, and other parts you will find on your own. I have confidence in you.

Until next time …

Figure out where you want to go then start moving.

Walking lines and standing for truth

I’ve recently had a realization about this blog. I was shackling myself. I was setting myself up for failure, but no more.

As usual (in my world at least) it’s not a one factor model. Over the last year or so I’ve gotten a small body of likes and followers. A small body, but not a large one. I hate to admit it, but a bit of a starvation  mentality set in. I was afraid to speak up because I was afraid if I did I would loose the followers I had.

That’s a bad idea… Actually both sides are bad ideas… Loosing follows would be bad; less people would be reading what I have to say. At the same time being afraid to speak weakened what I did say. Weakening my words also results in less people reading what I have to say.

I was falling pray to the fear of offending anyone. You’re never going to make a strong statement if you’re afraid of offending people. And, if you want to make strong statements, but don’t because it might offend someone that undermines you as a writer/speaker and as a person. Reader/hearers can detect that and don’t respond well.

Then, I allowed myself to loose focus. I would give lip service to doing and writing good things here, but I never allowed myself the time to do that. The reality is that not taking the time to do things right is another loosing position.

The reality is that there must be opposition in all things. Often that opposition does not want me (or you to) talk about the things that we believe and stand for.

So, I will be making changes here at WMS. I am making a new commitment not to be afraid to talk about things that matter to me. And if you’d like to weigh in I’m happy to make it a conversation.

If you are interested in or concerned about things I choose to talk about here dear reader, please respond and comment. If not publicly send me an email…

I’m not going to waste my time on trolls, or people that just want to push their angle with no discussions (that’s not what this blog is for). I’m not going to deliberately offend anyone. But, I am going to say something when I have something to say.

And, I welcome comments, discussion, questions, and requests from people who want to discuss things in a civil manner. That is what this place is for dear reader, to talk about ideas and what the words mean.

Words do mean stuff dear reader. Now lets get talking…

Mother’s Day 2016

This Sunday is Mother’s Day, the day that by convention we spend a lot of time eulogizing mothers and motherhood. It is kind of an interesting day because we as a group are honoring a nebulous idea which often does not (and cannot) match up with reality and real people

Mothers (and mileage) may vary

In reality I’m not sure we agree on what that nebulous ideal is and as for the actual mothers our experience with them can vary wildly.

Actually, if we ignore multiple births the number of different mothers and mother images we have can be calculated by taking the number of people on earth and multiplying by one.

What about siblings?

Being a mother’s second (or third… or fourth… or…) child is different from being a first or only child. So, the experience with mom will be slightly different.

I’m Ok with all of us having different ideas and ideals about motherhood. We are all different, so if we all had exactly the same perception of our mothers that would be kind of weird.

Common good from uncommon people

There are commonalities. Whatever your situation your mom did bring some good into your life. If you’re reading this you exist, and probably aren’t dead. Your mom gave birth to you. You exist in part because of her, and that should be honored if nothing else is.

Your (earthly) mother isn’t perfect. If you choose to believe in a heavenly mother, or goddess, or whatever; I’m Ok with that, but your mom here on earth wasn’t perfect. Mother’s Day is a day to honor the good in, and about, your mother regardless of what else may have happened in life. (As I said above, since you’re here she has to have done some good)

The idealized mother we think about is often a nurturer, a teacher, a protector, someone who loves us. If your actual mother was those things honor them.

If not… well…

Honor the good in her, by being a better mother (or father, or just person) than the example you had. No matter how bad of a job we (or our mothers) think our mothers did there was really some good there, so honor it by making that good grow!

I think that’s how you honor your mother and Mother’s Day, make the good grow!

Conclusions

I think that’s the take home idea from this one dear reader. Take whatever good your mother has given you (no matter how little or how much) and let it grow!

If your mom really is that ideal ‘good mom’ she’ll be pleased to see it. Making the good grow is an ideal gift for the ideal mother. The perfect gift.

If your mother wasn’t the ideal… the good that was (and is) in her, and came from her, can grow with your help.

I’ve written this from the perspective of a child. I haven’t said much about being a mom. I will leave it to my wife and others to give the ‘good moming’ advice. Do the best you can at it, learn, and share what you have learned. The ability is in you.

That’s it for this one dear reader. Until next time…

Happy Mother’s Day.

P.S.

I know this isn’t the ‘usual’ Mother’s Day post (I’m not the usual person (especially this year)), but I hope it helps someone out there.

Delayed Gratification

Years ago there was a psychological study in which children were given a marshmallow and told that if they waited a short period of time to eat it they could have two marshmallow. Years later it was determined that the two marshmallow kids, the ones who could delay gratification, were more successful in life. This was a good discovery but what does it mean for us in day-to-day life?

As I write this I’m actually working on no less than three books.

The first is a novel. I’m finishing up the pre writing stuff (character sketches, where is it on the map, and a (basic and subject to change) outline).

The second is also a novel. I’m at the point where there may be changes that need to be made, but I’ve worked on it enough that I can’t see them. This one is at the point that peer readers and editing people are really what’s needed.

The third is a non-fiction book that was supposed to be out in E-book tomorrow… they just got the proofs back to me today…

I can see the finish from here…

The third book looks great except for five little errors in formatting that don’t work out the way I want them. I have a choice. I could just approve the proof, get the book out on time, and live with it; or I could send in a correction order for the changes that need to be made.

I really want to have this done. I want the book to be out and selling (making money and getting to say “Hey first book of the year is out!” are good things). I also want the book to be the best it can be. The errors are going to reflect on me and people may feel like I’m not as good as I really am because I let the errors slip.

It’s a delayed gratification question. Sure having the errors fixed moves the publication date to the middle of next week, but it makes it a better book. I don’t get to say it’s out tomorrow, but it’ll be a better book and really doesn’t hurt me in the larger goal of having two books out this year. No one is really waiting for the book that can’t wait a couple more days (I didn’t take any prepaid sales and I don’t have any events planned until after Mother’s day anyway…). I have to make the best decision for me and my book even if it means waiting just a little longer.

I really want these things out and being read… but…

The same thing applies with the second book. I want to go ahead and start sending stuff off. But it is of greater benefit to have some other eyeballs on it before I do; so that it can be the best book it can be. It’s the start of a series. There’s a lot of future good that comes from choosing the best path and a lot of harm that can come from an impulsive move.

Before I do that, it’s a good idea to make sure I’ve protected myself copyright wise… I trust my friends but there are people to not trust out there and an ounce of protection can save a lot of headaches in the long run.

Seeing where I’m going before I get there…

The book I’m finishing the pre writing stuff for is a clear shot ahead. This one I’ve taking the time to figure out where I’m going and the foreseeable problems along the way. There’s no real point in delaying gratification, because I’ve already done it. It’s at a point that I can run free and have fun and so I will. I just have to be conscious of where I need to stop and check and take appropriate steps.

The secrets of making dreams come true (well one of them)

Everyone (or almost everyone) likes that immediate gratification. It can be nice to give yourself a project that you can have immediate gratification on. But you need to be aware you need to recognize where things are at and make the best possible choices. Sometimes that means going right now. Sometimes that means delaying gratification and making things or situations better before you take that gratifying step.

Sadly, not all of our choices are a good option versus a bad one. Sometimes it is two good choices and we have to choose the best. Sometimes it’s two less attractive choices and we have to choose the least bad.

Part of growing and learning dear reader is knowing when to delay gratification and when to plunge on ahead. It’s not easy but it is necessary.

That’s it for today dear reader. Until next time…

May all your choices be good, and your marshmallows be tasty!