This Sunday is Mother’s Day, the day that by convention we spend a lot of time eulogizing mothers and motherhood. It is kind of an interesting day because we as a group are honoring a nebulous idea which often does not (and cannot) match up with reality and real people
Mothers (and mileage) may vary
In reality I’m not sure we agree on what that nebulous ideal is and as for the actual mothers our experience with them can vary wildly.
Actually, if we ignore multiple births the number of different mothers and mother images we have can be calculated by taking the number of people on earth and multiplying by one.
What about siblings?
Being a mother’s second (or third… or fourth… or…) child is different from being a first or only child. So, the experience with mom will be slightly different.
I’m Ok with all of us having different ideas and ideals about motherhood. We are all different, so if we all had exactly the same perception of our mothers that would be kind of weird.
Common good from uncommon people
There are commonalities. Whatever your situation your mom did bring some good into your life. If you’re reading this you exist, and probably aren’t dead. Your mom gave birth to you. You exist in part because of her, and that should be honored if nothing else is.
Your (earthly) mother isn’t perfect. If you choose to believe in a heavenly mother, or goddess, or whatever; I’m Ok with that, but your mom here on earth wasn’t perfect. Mother’s Day is a day to honor the good in, and about, your mother regardless of what else may have happened in life. (As I said above, since you’re here she has to have done some good)
The idealized mother we think about is often a nurturer, a teacher, a protector, someone who loves us. If your actual mother was those things honor them.
If not… well…
Honor the good in her, by being a better mother (or father, or just person) than the example you had. No matter how bad of a job we (or our mothers) think our mothers did there was really some good there, so honor it by making that good grow!
I think that’s how you honor your mother and Mother’s Day, make the good grow!
I think that’s the take home idea from this one dear reader. Take whatever good your mother has given you (no matter how little or how much) and let it grow!
If your mom really is that ideal ‘good mom’ she’ll be pleased to see it. Making the good grow is an ideal gift for the ideal mother. The perfect gift.
If your mother wasn’t the ideal… the good that was (and is) in her, and came from her, can grow with your help.
I’ve written this from the perspective of a child. I haven’t said much about being a mom. I will leave it to my wife and others to give the ‘good moming’ advice. Do the best you can at it, learn, and share what you have learned. The ability is in you.
That’s it for this one dear reader. Until next time…
Happy Mother’s Day.
I know this isn’t the ‘usual’ Mother’s Day post (I’m not the usual person (especially this year)), but I hope it helps someone out there.